This is Mima!

Perfect Blue, a Japanese animated film by Satoshi Kon from the 90s, has been gaining some attention after a GMA star cosplayed a character from the movie in a recent celebrity Halloween ball. Our own plans for this Perfect Blue shoot had been set way before Halloween but kept getting pushed back but, as we learned, the best laid plans don't always work out.

And I'm quite glad that our original plans fell through – what a serendipitous event this photoshoot turned out to be. It was as if the stars aligned for everything to fall into place for this shoot. It was Halloween, probably the only day you can get away with blood splattered on your face (and carrying an ice pick in public) in BGC. It was also vacation time for most people in Metro Manila, which explained the very light traffic. We arrived at the location in the early afternoon so that we could shoot a series of photos while it was still bright out. The guards didn't seem to mind the speedlight/flash I was using (which was always a point of contention when shooting in BGC in the past).

But it was the night shoot I was most excited about. The dark would allow me to capture an accurate feel of the film. Harsh direct lighting, the uncertainty of a focused shot, the surprise of a fleeting, unplanned moment.

To be honest, before this shoot I only saw clips and analysis videos of Perfect Blue. It was only the night before the shoot that I watched the whole movie. It was confusing, spectacular, disturbing and fascinating all at once. I doubt anyone would understand this movie on their first watch. So I watched it again. You get a sense of appreciation this time around, albeit still mildly confused. Everything is subtle yet loud. I like how Satoshi Kon (in my mind) does not "baby" his audience with exposition and obvious cues. He aims to confuse, mystify and immerse you into the moment, to make you experience what the characters experience. I have to admit it's a pretty ballsy way to make a film. In its messy yet concise storytelling you are left wondering what the hell happened (which is what I can also say about real life). I developed a micro-obsession with the film before leaving the house to go to the photoshoot. I felt a sudden urgency to capture the nuances of the film onto this set. I don't care anymore if the photoset confuses the hell out of people. I want to make an honest-to-goodness homage to the film.

A curious thing I realized when I was researching references for this shoot is that most cosplays of Mima show her holding a knife, which confused me because she never used a knife in the movie at all. In fact the knife is such a part of cosplays of Mima that even Juno almost brought a knife to the shoot. It turns out it was a pretty bad case of the Mandela effect.

Mima, in fact, used an ice pick to off her victims. Cue the Tondo jokes. It was amazingly (if gruesomely) animated in full detail in the movie. Go watch it if you're fine with a bit of gore.

I mixed in a bit of influence from Wong-Kar Wai's films. His style of direction is so distinct and memorable that any film buff would notice the visual inspiration that I took here and there. I'll have to sit down and give his movies another go sometime.

It's a misconception that you have to have a film camera to imitate the film vibe. What you have to understand that it is not the medium itself you need emulate, but the limitations of the medium used at the time (I can probably write something about it but I can't be bothered right now). I used a Sony a7RV and a TTartisan 50mm f/2 manual lens for this shoot. I was also holding a Godox TT600 with a grid and barndoor attached so that it wouldn't raise much attention with the guards.

The presence of the color red in the film signifies danger. The movie mostly uses a cool color palette throughout the film. But when there is tension or danger, the red builds up until it swallows the entire frame. In the photo above, I was pleased that the location had red details that echo Mima's outfit and the significance of the film's use of the color.

Introspection

It is always scary to look into yourself. To pry apart your thoughts and your words. To expose the weakness in your logic. Everything in your mind was justified but you are afraid you have done the wrong thing and you blame the current circumstances that led to this moment. You thought you had no control and you let it happen. The quiet surrender you execute in your mind trickles slowly into a pool of regret of your lack of action. Each drop echoes louder and louder at the back of your head until it becomes a phantom that will consume you. Not now, you tell yourself. Not until you finish what you've started. Whenever that time when the tide comes for you, you won't be ready for it.

She is looking at you, but the reflection avoids her gaze entirely. Which one reflects your true intentions?

Fracturing of the Psyche

How do you define who you really are? Are you the product of your choices or are you what people think you are? How can you tell who you really are when no one knows who you are as a whole? Who will you ask if you yourself do not know the answer to that question. You are, in fact, everything. Every facet of your identity is you. Fake or real, it is you. This is you. That is you.

The whole shoot started around 5 pm and we finished at 8 pm. I started editing this set at around 11 pm when I got home and I finished at around 2 am to catch up to the Halloween posts. Looking at the final photos, I feel a huge sense of joy and fulfilment at paying homage to a film and to filmmakers that I got really invested in.

Special thanks to Tita Floi for the wonderful time and assistance for this shoot.
Special thanks to Kristah Pauline for providing me with references last minute.